I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I forget how to act sober
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