It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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