why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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