Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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