He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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