just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize