I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sext me about skeletons
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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