Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize