It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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