Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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