Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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