It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize