when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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