PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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