Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Jerry, you need to find god
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize