I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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