Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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