As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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