You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize