if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i will never coherently bang her
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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