Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize