non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
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Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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