is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize