this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
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you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
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You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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