marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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