I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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