Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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