My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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