He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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