Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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