Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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