I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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