It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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