I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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