definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize