i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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