she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
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Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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