You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize