I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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