i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
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