it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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