Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize