The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize