i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I've blown a few things in my day
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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