it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize