Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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