"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize