He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize