I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize