My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize